Building trust with your team

Trust is one of the most talked about qualities in leadership yet it is also one of the least understood. We say that trust must be earned. We say that trust takes time. We say that trust is fragile. All of this is true but none of it tells us how to actually build it with the people we work with every day.

In a recent episode of Diary of a CEO, Brené Brown offered a simple idea that gives a clear way to understand trust. She called it the marble jar theory. Imagine that everyone on your team carries an invisible jar. Each time someone keeps a promise listens deeply or shows up when it matters they place a marble in that jar. Over time the jar becomes a record of dependability. It fills slowly and steadily as people demonstrate care consistency and character.

But the same is true in the opposite direction. When someone lies or gossips or fails to honour their word a marble is removed. Sometimes more than one. Loss of trust is rarely loud. It is often a quiet emptying. Small moments that take away far more than they appear to.

For leaders this is an important reminder.

Trust is not built in grand gestures. It grows in the small moments that happen every single day. The five minute check in before a meeting. The follow up you promised to send. The willingness to apologise when you get something wrong. The effort to understand before reacting. The practice of speaking about people only as you would speak to them.

And it is a journey.

Building trust with a team is not easy and it is not linear. There are phases where the jar fills quickly because everyone feels aligned and supported. Then there are moments when marbles fall out at speed because pressure is high or communication slips or someone is navigating something difficult behind the scenes. As leaders, we often expect ourselves to get it right every time yet the reality is far more human. We will make mistakes. We will miss things. We will disappoint people at times even when we are doing our best.

What matters is whether we stay in the work. Whether we keep showing up. Whether we take responsibility when something goes wrong. Whether we rebuild trust with patience, rather than defensiveness. Whether our team sees that we are committed to their growth and wellbeing not only in the good weeks but also in the ones that test us.

The marble jar theory helps us recognise that trust is never a fixed state. It is something we are always building and sometimes repairing. It is created through a series of small acts that signal respect empathy and reliability. The kind of leadership that earns trust is not about perfection. It is about consistency and presence and care.

If you want a team that feels safe motivated and loyal start with the jar. Fill it one marble at a time. It will take patience but the result is a culture where people can do their best work because they believe in one another and in you.